Dear Asian Youth, Last week, I was scrolling through Instagram when I came across a video clip from The Daily Show, hosted by Trevor Noah. Noah was interviewing Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a writer and a women's rights activist. My usual instinct when I come across a video post on Instagram is to watch five seconds of the clip and then skip to the next post. This time, however, my instinct was telling me to watch the whole video—for I recognized Adichie as a renowned feminist. The words that I heard in those few minutes captured the beliefs that I, as a feminist, have been holding very dear to me ever since I learned about the existence of gender oppression from a young age. When Adichie was asked why she calls herself a feminist, not a humanist or an equalist, her response was: “But that is what feminism is. Feminism is about justice for everyone, but you have to name your problem. And the problem is, it’s women who have been excluded, so we need to call it what it is.” Many people are unaware of the true definition of feminism and how misconstrued the term has become. Because of this, many individuals wear the term “feminist” in an attempt to justify their wrongdoings. For example, people use feminism as an excuse to speak in a derogatory manner towards males or to fuel other harmful tendencies. Many women and men show anger towards the feminist movement, and a few of the reasons why include: the misalignment between the feminist movement and the values of an individual. the belief that empowering women will undermine the influence of men. the exposure to “feminist propaganda” by people who wrongly claim to be “feminists.” disagreeing that females and males should receive equal rights because both genders differ from each other. the belief that gender equality has already been achieved. Many of these points are included in the Forbes magazine article, “What is Feminism, And Why Do So Many Women and Men Hate it?”. The author, Kathy Caprino, brings up a crucial point that is directed towards the statements listed above, declaring that “Feminism at its core is about equality of men and women, not ‘sameness.’” So many people offer up the argument that women are not the “same” as men so there can’t be equality. In other words...because men and women have different physical capabilities, these physical differences mean equality is not possible.” “It’s critical to understand that ‘same’ does not mean ‘equal.’ The issue here is about equal rights and equal access to opportunities. Men and women don’t have to be the ‘same’ in physicality to have the right to equality.” Everyone has a different view on the world due to different lived experiences. We interpret situations distinctly and have our own perspectives on certain matters, whether we like a certain TV drama or not, or if we agree with the president and his decisions. However, equal rights should not be based on “opinions.” The living quality of a human and the amount of opportunities that we receive should not be based on what another person believes is right. And while humans manipulating other humans might seem unethical to you as you are reading this, this hierarchy is what most of the world currently looks like. Many people who deny the existence of gender inequality are privileged enough to neither witness nor experience such oppression. Such oppression does exist; however- speaking on a personal level, as colourful as my South Asian culture is—it masks the decades of patriarchies that have confined wives as young as ten years old to the control of their husbands, where the age gap ranges from five to twenty plus years. While the severity of gender oppression have reduced in more socio-economically stable countries, disparities in gender equality still exist, and have been exposed to children from a very young age. It disgusts me to look at magazine covers geared specifically for girls and seeing, “Wake Up Pretty! ... Fall Fashion You’ll Love!... Quiz! Are you ready for a BF?”, while I see a magazine cover for boys that states, “Explore the Future! Astronaut? Artist? Firefighter? Chef? Here’s how to be what you want to be.” These words were on actual covers of the Girl’s Life and the Boy’s Life magazines, both produced by the same company. I asked my friends’ younger sisters and brothers what they wanted to be when they grew up. And while I don’t believe that any career is inherently inferior, none of the career choices considered by these young girls were in advanced or essential fields. Some have even said to me that they wouldn’t need a job—they will just marry a very rich man. While such potential career choices (e.g. a housewife) might be jokes in their eyes, I see these choices as a reflection of what these girls have been told that they are good at doing: staying idle. In contrast, boys say they want to be astronauts, surgeons, and engineers because our society has told them that they are capable of these careers. More girls need to be given such encouragement, in order to see a future decrease in gender inequality. And as Cher -an avid feminist- once said, ““My mom said to me, ‘You know sweetheart one day you should settle down and marry a rich man.’ I said, ‘Mom, I am a rich man.’” Feminism is not the belief that the female gender is superior to the male gender. Feminism is: Helping girls in countries of poverty receive an education to sustain themselves for the future. Advocating for no wage gap. Protesting that feminine hygiene products are not luxury items and therefore should not be taxed. Feminism is empowerment— equality. Feminism is not a privilege. Anyone can be a feminist, despite their gender, their race, their religion, or their sexuality. However, the ability to advocate for women’s rights is a privilege only given to those who have the freedom to speak and protest for this emancipation. This is why those with the ability to advocate for these deserved rights, need to continue pursuing the goal of eliminating gender oppression to enable the voices of females all over the world. - Prerna

Dear Asian Youth, As a kid, did you ever forget the importance of Mother's Day? I know I did. I recall a time in 5th grade when we were assigned to make a gift for Mother’s Day. Our teacher didn’t want us to create anything cliché, so that meant no cheesy Mother’s Day cards or paper hearts decorated with drawings. She wanted us to dig deep into what we knew about our mothers. For me, food was the first thing that came to mind. Making food with my mom was a time when we could talk about anything: we could gush over our favorite TV show characters or tell each other about our days. Determined to create a gift that accurately represented the importance of food in our relationship, I grabbed the glue and scissors from a plastic tub and busted out my (arguably nonexistent!) artistic skills. After what seemed like a hundred hours of working, my glitter-covered hands wiped the sweat off my forehead and I stared in admiration at my greatest creation ever: a recipe book with “love” as the only meal. I remember getting creative with how I crafted the recipes, using ingredients like a pint of kisses and a sprinkle of hugs. That day, I went home with a huge grin plastered on my face, putting a little extra pep in every single step and a little extra groove in every single move. When I presented my mother the masterpiece, she smiled with joy and embraced me with tears in her eyes. I felt comforted and safe as she held me in her arms, and my heart tingled with a warm feeling I knew I could never get anywhere else. The Sunday of Mother’s Day, we made Spam sandwiches with our own little Filipino twist to them and cut them into adorable heart shapes. I munched down a couple and saved a few for Monday’s lunch. All giddy and excited, I couldn’t wait to show off my meal to all my friends. That Monday morning, I sprung out of my bed and for once felt excited to get up for school. I daydreamed about lunch during the entirety of class time and as soon as the lunch bell rang, I rushed out of the classroom and ran to the lunch tables. Plopping down next to my friends, they looked at me as if I was some sort of crazy person. I didn’t care. This was the moment I had been waiting for all day! My hands scrambled to unwrap my heart-shaped food, but as soon as I did, I was met with disgust and crinkled noses. “What’s wrong?” I asked. Everyone exchanged glances at once. Awkward silence consumed the table. I sat, dumbfounded. Finally, my friend interrupted the silence. “There’s a smell, and it’s coming from you.” What? A smell, coming from me? A million questions ran through my mind at that moment. Did I shower well enough last night? Did my breath stink? Do my clothes need to be washed again? Suddenly, the boy sitting across from me grabbed my lunch with pinched fingers, as if it was some sort of roadkill. It finally dawned upon me that it was my food that was making them feel queasy. I felt as if I was going to explode. Flailing my arms to take it back, I desperately yelled at him to stop. My heart was racing uncontrollably and I could feel my face getting hot as he continued to taunt me. After having a laugh with his friends, he finally tossed my lunch back to me. I couldn’t believe it. The Filipino meal that I was so looking forward to eating had been ridiculed, tossed around, treated like garbage. All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry. I balled up the sandwich with my fists and chucked it into the trash can, running to the bathroom in tears. When I came home that day, my mom asked, “Did you enjoy your lunch?” I didn’t even want to open my mouth to respond. My eyes were visibly bloodshot, and my face was still fresh with tears. The silence was deafening, and my mom knew something was wrong. The look on her face at that moment was unforgettable: her skin paled, her eyes narrowed, her mouth agape. She realized what had happened. It was then, when I decided that I would completely renounce my Filipino culture. My efforts began immediately. I would beg my mom to stop packing leftovers for lunch. As soon as dinner ended, I would immediately pipe up and ask if I could have lunch money, instead of scooping my food into a container like before. There were some days when I would “accidentally” forget my lunch at home, so that my only option was to buy food from the cafeteria. Slowly but surely, pizza was the only lunch I had and I no longer ate adobo or tinola. When Mother’s Day came around the next year, I refused to have anything to do with Asian food and asked if we could have something else. It broke my mother’s heart, and when I realized what I’d done, it broke mine too. I hid my fear with hatred, and those whom I loved paid the consequences. Today, I am a freshman in highschool, and it has been 5 years since this incident occurred. I have been able to move past my ignorance and grow into who I am today. My mother and I have rekindled our relationship throughout the years, but I still feel immense heartache for the pain I caused her. However, I realize today that there is a silver lining to this. At the time, those whom I called friends laughed along with the joke, and those who didn’t sat there in silence. The supervisors who were supposed to keep us safe from discrimination promptly ignored the incident despite having witnessed it all. If someone, anyone, was brave enough to speak up, maybe I wouldn’t have felt as damaged. I learned that it is crucial to stand my ground in the face of prejudicial behavior, and to not only remain proud for who I am, but also for those who sacrificed so much to give me this life of privilege and happiness. With today being Mother’s Day and this month being Asian American/Pacific Islander Heritage month, we must stand united against the bigotry that tells us to abandon our cultures, and be thankful for the very mothers who stood by us when we were too blinded by our own self-hatred. Mom, thank you for giving me the recipe for loving, appreciating, and honoring my heritage, even when I spilled the pint of kisses on the ground and added too little hugs. - Julianne Tenorio

unwrap the round confectionary and there it sits in my palm shiny with sparkles of sugar and quickly my tongue meets the sour surface of the candy. there are hints of raspberry and maybe some lemon. i just remembered that i’ve been waiting. waiting for somebody to tell me that all i’ve lost is also more that i can gain with new faces and visages but how come it stings like a bite to the cheek? mom is traveling next month for her green card and then heading to korea to visit her mother and classmates are visiting places i’d rather be in so i’ve deleted social media. i’m becoming too envious for my own good. the back of my throat burns this sweet is oddly deceiving and surreptitiously disguised a flavor of fire i can’t describe. it. burns. the wrapper still sits in the sweaty palm of my hand its plasticy nature uncomfortable to touch. i need to throw it away. these days i rarely go out to the benefit of my parents. they don’t tell me to stay home but when i go out they wonder if i’m focusing enough. am i on track? and sometimes, even i don’t know the answer to that. i’m losing connection, and with what, you ask? with everything. familiar faces are a blur in my memory i’m tired of the endless fear of the virus my bed is telling me to leave the house just for some fresh air. the candy is still in my mouth slowly melting and i’m swallowing the flavor and maybe i’m fooling myself, but now it tastes a little sweeter, and less sour. i glance outside, see the trees wave their branches at me. life isn’t so bitter after all. Editors: Sandhya G, Zoe L., Sam. L Author’s note: A couple of weeks ago, I was on Instagram (which I now have deleted–we have an on and off relationship) where I noticed many students from my school traveling. Amongst this Covid-19 pandemic, they are traveling while I’m “stuck” in Singapore under the wrath of the strict government restrictions. And at the same time, the stress of college applications is dawning on me, and I couldn’t help but wonder if those classmates were feeling the same way as me as they adventured their way through my home city. By now, however, I’ve long ago realized that wasting time envying others’ lives is meaningless–I should appreciate the privilege and beauty of the surroundings around me.

Content warnings: Sex, sexuality, sexual relationships, ‘virgin’ as a descriptive (not to shame), relationship abuse, minors, consent (& lack thereof), alcohol consumption, ‘virgin shaming’, peer-pressure, mention of drugs and alcohol. Trigger warnings: relationship abuse, emotional abuse, pressuring and shaming, minors, non-consensual activities. Disclaimer: This piece has no intention to slut-shame. I believe in sex positivity, the autonomy to explore their sexual desires and boundaries without shame. This piece will specifically examine the flip-side which is autonomy to not have sex. Introduction Hi, hello, welcome. I am back with another episode of ‘complaining about specific topics and trying to write about them in a coherent way so you don’t have to suffer through my verbal ramblings too much.’ Buckle-up. This time, I would like to talk about sex. Specifically, the ways in which Western audio-visual media shifted from ‘SEX BAD, MARRIAGE GOOD, BABY AFTER MARRIAGE SUPER GOOD’ to ‘EVERYONE’S BANGIN’!’ in terms of writing adolescent characters. Following that, I want to address how this is often used to ridicule Asian characters and cultural stereotypes about Asian relationships, specifically The Big Bang Theory’s token Indian, Raj. We might even go into a *greater discussion* about *sex being used as a crutch for realism in stories about modern youth. Exciting stuff. So, let’s get ready to ramble! Defining ‘Virginity’ Now, the idea of the ‘virgin’ contains ongoing discourse about the ways in which such a term can be used to weaponize people’s body autonomy and insecurities — to degrade those who have sex (before marriage or in general) as ‘impure’, even when talking about masturbation, depending on regional or cultural circumstance. As someone who has not personally experienced dating, relationships, or sexual activity with another person, I will be using ‘virgin’ as a descriptive for ‘someone who has not engaged in a form of sexual activity with at least one other person’. ‘A form’ can be open to interpretation from any reader of this piece. Individuals are allowed to make their own personal and individual judgement about what they may consider their first experience with sex (their ‘first time’). The way you define your ‘firsts’ is your choice as it is your body, and I think it is important to consider that a general ‘umbrella’ definition can not be applicable for everyone and individual experiences. Some people do not necessarily experience the definitions of sex that are heavily centered around heteronormative explanations you may get in biology lessons. Defining ‘Sex as a Solution’ When referring to ‘sex as a solution’, I am specifically referring to the idea that for many characters, sex is a goal — something to achieve and something that ‘resolves’ the ‘issue’ of being a virgin or someone who hasn’t had sex for a certain timeframe. It is also this ‘idea’ that sex can be used as a tool to ‘solve’ character arcs. Take any Netflix teen film for example, where sex is shown to solve everyone’s problems, from trauma to their dArK, bRoOdInG pAsTs. Films glorify sex to the point where the outsider suddenly feels cool and normal just because they have lost their virginity. In my opinion, all of these examples are very flat, one-dimensional, and frankly, stupid ways of approaching the nuances of sexuality and relationships when it comes to modern youth. I’m going to say ‘modern youth’ because if I say ‘young people’ I might need to address the fact that I haven’t been a teenager for a good few years, and I already used my quarter-life crisis coupon four years ago, thank you x. The change from ‘sex as a sin’ to ‘sex as a solution’ To figure out how modern youth consumes stories with explicit displays of sexuality as an expectation of contemporary life, it’s important to recognise how previous decades were expected to tell stories with sex as a topic of shame and disgust, especially for women and the LGBTQIA+ community. In 1952, CBS prohibited the program I Love Lucy from using the word ‘pregnant’, which is baffling when you consider how it’s extremely expected for women to be mothers; yet, it’s considered a no-no to say because it implies that the married characters had sex. Sex between humans in audio-visual media was worthy of clutching your pearls and wrapping your cardigan tighter around you, to the extent that Samantha and Darrian from Bewitched could only acceptably share a bed because Samantha was a witch and therefore not considered human. Thus, you could only be in such a circumstance if you weren’t treated as a literal ‘human’. Lovely. It was in the late-1940s when a show called Mary Kay and Johnny had two ‘humans’ sharing a bed. The late ‘70s really started to propell sex as a conversation when the title character of Maude chose to have an abortion in an episode in 1972, for example. A show titled Soap had letters written in protest before its 1977 debut on ABC because Billy Crystal would be portraying an openly gay charatcer; sex was absent but this was less to do with characters opting out of sex and more to do with sex as a topic in general being antagonised and a good way for sponsors to drop advertising deals that would help fund television shows — especially when it came to antagonising same-sex relationships. Let’s not forget the major setback in the acceptance of sexuality in Britain, when the Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher introduced Section 28 in 1988, which stated that “councils should not ‘intentionally promote homosexuality or publish material with the intention of promoting homosexuality’ in its schools”. Getting the general public to collectively normalize sexuality as a possibility in an individual’s life was a long journey that we are still undertaking, and law enforcement that disproportionately impacts marginalised groups does not help at all. To corroborate this, the report ‘LGBT in Britain – Hate Crime and Discrimination’ states that “One in five LGBT people (21 per cent) have experienced a hate crime or incident due to their sexual orientation and/or gender identity in the last 12 months […][and] One in four black, Asian and minority ethnic LGBT people (24 per cent) accessing social services in the last year have been discriminated against because of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity”. Amongst other statistics, this report highlights that hate-crimes targeting the LGBTQIA+ community are ongoing, even if greater proportions in modern societies are more welcoming than policy in previous decades, such as Section 28. Furthermore, the report iterates the fact that non-white members of the LGBTQIA+ community continue to experience racial discrimination in addition to their sexual orientation and gender identity. Examples of a slow….slow…..slow realisation that the mere suggestion of sex does not make you morally bankrupt was accompanied by the continued waves of Feminism and LGBTQIA+ activism that fought to change the way sex was discussed and body autonomy. We are at a stage in history where casual sex outside of marriage is not only accepted and celebrated in modern life but has desenzitised a lot of audiences to the idea that sex equaling shame is ‘protecting’ impressionable groups. This, amongst other profound changes made in history and law, means that many individuals and groups, especially modern youth, can experience more physical, mental, and emotional safety than they may have in prior years. However, it is also possible that the continued push for body autonomy, particularly in relation to desensitising sex as shameful, has led to some…choices media production has made, believing sex is necessary for storytelling. It also becomes more of a problem when minors are involved in the conversation. Sex and Adolescence (minors) It has become an expectation for media about teenagers to explore sexuality under the veil of ‘realism’, even if the characters portrayed in the stories are minors. Granted, it is not uncommon to have known at least one person that bragged about having sex or engaged in sexual activity during school, but it’s strange how some media is so concerned about the sex lives of modern youth that other things almost seem obsolete. We are expected to just accept that the main character got accepted into Harvard, even if we have been given no evidence of them working on their grades and eligibility (The Kissing Booth 2, I’m talking to you, look me in the eye and explain, please). I could know more about a sexual partner’s hickey preferences before I find out what the main character wants to study (ahem). Kennie J.D., someone who has frequently called out the moral setbacks presented in media targeting teenagers and young adults in their Bad Movies & a Beat series, published a video about HBO’s Euphoria (2019). They argue that it is really jarring to watch a show revolving around 16-year old characters with the implication that many adult viewers would be incidentally witnessing the nudity of minors; regardless as to whether or not the actors are adults, the shows wants us to interpret Euphoria with an understanding that the actors are performing a characterisation of minors (J.D.). Kennie continues this video by addressing one of the counter-arguments that the nudity presents realism about some of the wild things teenagers get up to. They address that it is not impossible to imagine teenagers drinking, taking drugs, and saving because some do, but not all; it’s becoming apparent that adult writers of media who were teenagers in specific decades don’t know how to write about teenagers of this decade and use sexuality as a shortcut for the ‘realism’ of sexual liberty, when normalizing the absence of sexuality in a non-shaming way was never an option to begin with. Kennie J.D. states that, “Ranging from every genre: Degrassi, American Teenager, Pretty Little Liars, On My Block, Skins, Superbad […] they all in some way or another capitalize on this idea that ‘it’s okay to make sexual content about teenagers because “teens out here sexualising themselves”; which becomes something to question if and when content curated to be ‘real’ is consumed through an adult lens.” Kennie J.D.’s argument exemplifies how the societal expectations that audio-visual media has curated about sex has had a significant shift from presenting abstinence as an expectation to belittle sexually active people and sex work, to presenting frequent sexual acitivity as an expectation to belittle those who aren’t. Moreover, the gradual desensitization to writing about explicit sexuality and sex in fictional media has gone to the extent that minors are presented in highly explicit context, such as Netflix’s ‘Cuties’, in a way that is voyeuristic. When it comes to western media continuing to release projects that are at the centre of its arcs for ‘realism’, J.D. addresses that sex for the sake of realism is not technically feasible with fiction, “I think people forget there is no such thing as realism in curated work […] you cannot be a real, edited, stylised, scripted show. That’s not a thing; you can’t do that. […] At that point [For ‘Euphoria], it boils down to either you made sexually explicit content for minors, OR you made sexually explicit content about minors for the consumption of adults. […] What does this 35 white male [writer] of this show know what it’s like to be a sixteen year old, biracial girl in 2019; he’s already taken some artistic licenses, you think he couldn’t have just bumped them up to nineteen” (2020). If production teams are curating stories under the fallacy of realism, it is frankly disappointing that the option to not have sex without shame or ridicule is never truly considered for the fallacy. It is not even conceivable to write about characters that express body autonomy without sex involved in their arcs because ‘what’s real about not having sex? Everyone’s doin’ it these days!’ It has gotten to a point where you can almost draft a Yerkes-Dodson curve, where too little or too much of something can lead to equally damaging results for the dynamic between performance and arousal (Pietrangelo). How ironic. In application to sexuality in audio-visual storytelling, the x-axis of our ‘sex curve’ could indicate the creation/consumption of sex-based stories decade-by-decade, and the y-axis may show its affects on society (healthily) interpreting sexuality from weak to strong. The first point of the curve would illustrate the tight censorship of sexuality and the end point being the opposite. Both points of the curve may illustrate an equally ‘weak’ presentation and interpretation of sexuality, just with contrasting methods. Additionally, both points of this (made up and hypothetical) curve showcase a caricatured version of the society it’s situated in, to implicitly suggest that an unhealthy interpretation of sexuality is representative of how things just are rather than how things could be for a selection of characters. Rajesh, inebriated misogynist. Although my parents and I watched The Big Bang Theory, we often watched it and other US comedy shows with a level of understanding that the writing isn’t necessarily gold standard writing. We more often used US comedy shows as a platform for inside jokes and quotations to say to each other in any given circumstance (BAZINGA being one of the culprits). I don’t really have that much animosity towards the show; I always watched it through a lens of understanding the heavy stereotypes that surround it, especially with Raj as the token non-white person that is often the centre of ridicule. During my university years (what a vague way to show my age as a non-teenager), I discovered a YouTube channel called ‘Popculture Detective’, particularly, a video they published titled ‘The Adorkable Misogyny of The Big Bang Theory’’; this detailed the ways in which men in geek and nerd cultures — that don’t fit the typical moulds for attractive main leads — fly under the radar of misogynistic behaviour because they are considered awkward ‘nice guys.’ I think that it is becoming a common narrative that calling yourself a nice guy is just another way of feeling like you are entitled to a woman’s sexual time with you, simply because you are considered the ‘underdog’ of attractive men — ‘I’m a nice guy’ sits at the same table with ‘I’m not like other girls’. When it comes to Rajesh specifically, the astrophysicist with selective mutism around women unless inebriated, ‘Popculture Detective’ argues that his misogynistic behaviour is clocked by the excuse of alcohol, that: “The show’s token geek of colour and is endlessly mocked for being the most effeminate of the four friends […] it’s in those uninhibited moments when we see some very extreme levels of underlying misogyny come to the forefront.” These statements are accompanied by clips of Raj taking a drink and saying to a woman college “do you like to hear about it more in my hot tub”, calling Penny “dear, why don’t you shoot another silver bullet my way” and undressing fully naked in a busy cafe when he’s on a date. The drunkenness gives Raj leeway to mistreat his interactions with women because alcohol is part of the joke. At least that’s what the writers intended. To examine how Raj’s relationship with sexuality exemplifies the ways in which Asian youth may struggle between a ‘traditional’ family’s expectations of abstinence before marriage, and a friendship circle’s expectations of sex in general, it is important to look specifically into the history of sexuality in Indian culture. Sexuality in Indian culture Kaustav Chakraborty and Rajarshi Guha Thakura state that, “India played a significant role in the history of sex, from writing the first literature that treated sexual intercourse as a science, to in modern times being the origin of the philosophical focus of new-age groups’ attitudes on sex. It may be argued that India pioneered the use of sexual education through art and literature” (2013). This highlights how today’s preconceptions and stereotypes about Indians having strict rules about sex and marriage is a modern interpretation in comparison to India’s ancient history. This is supported by Chakraborty and Guha Thakura whereby, “Nudity in art was considered acceptable in southern India, as shown by the paintings at Ajanta and the sculptures of the time. It is likely that as in most countries with tropical climates, Indians from some regions did not need to wear clothes, and other than for fashion, there was no practical need to cover the upper half of the body […] Vatsyayana’s classic work “Kamasutra” (Aphorisms of love) written somewhere between the 1st and 6th centuries includes the three pillars of the Hindu religion “Dharma,” “Artha” and “Kama” representing religious duty, worldly welfare and sensual aspects of life respectively. The main theme here appears to be the expression of Indian attitude toward sex as a central and natural component of Indian psyche and life” (2013). This assessment emphasises how India has historically interpreted sexuality in a liberating manner that was ‘central’ and ‘natural’ to daily life and mentalities in India – to the extent that it informed, and was influenced by, the arts and choices in clothing. So, what happened between the early centuries and now, where many people stereotype Indian culture as restrictive and influence the way Indian characters are written? Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, the thing we love to hate with all of our being: WHITE SUPREMACY! The British Empire played a pivotal role in reshaping sexuality in Indian culture; this was because the Empire essentially wanted to ‘de-Indian’ Indians and their culture(s). Victorian England and its industrialisation were a very formative period of history that shaped art, literature, science, and technology in ways that were both liberating and inhibiting. Something of note about Victorian England was the fascination with physiognomy and Eugenics. Hitler (oh god we got to the Hitler portion of the tangent) is the most notable figure that believed in Eugenics, but in Victorian England, physiognomy was used to determine a person’s manner and behaviour by their physical characteristics. By judging someone’s character from specific visual features, this led to a eugenic mentality where many people would select their partners by physical characteristics. Many Victorians believed that it was important to select a partner that physically looked the most ‘fertile’ or viable for a strong offspring in looks and characteristics. Darwin’s theory of evolution with natural selection informed a lot of eugenic theory in the sense that natural selection kept the visually ‘fittest’ as the ‘most evolved’; this led to this idea that if you were not white or had non-British features, then you were scientifically ‘less evolved’ and not viable for a marital partner, as this would essentially affect the selective breeding of the family line. Yikes. How did this affect Indian sexuality? Well, Victorian Britain believed that anyone not white/British were scientifically ‘less evolved’ due to their physical features (you can imagine how this influenced racial profiling in the criminal justice system). The British Empire tried to ‘solve’ this by trying to strip Indian colonies of their Indianness with teaching (enforcing) the English language, teaching (enforcing) values and practices in Christianity, as well as other texts or aspects of Victorian culture that informed ‘proper’ British sensibility. Essentially, if Indians can’t be ‘evolved’ physically, then white supremacy can make the Indian intellect more ‘evolved’ to continue working under the Empire. Double yikes. Chakraborty and Guha Thakura support this assessment by stating that “Victorian values stigmatized Indian sexual liberalism. The pluralism of Hinduism, and its liberal attitudes were condemned as ‘barbaric’ and proof of inferiority of the East” (2013). This is horrific to think about through a modern lens, but explains why many of the attitudes towards modesty and abstinence before marriage is commonly associated with the ‘strictness’ of Indian culture. It is significant also to note that homosexuality in India was not illegal pre-Empire. ­­Once again, the British Empire put in their big bigoted foot by 1861 and enforced Section 377 of their penal code onto India, “which could punish those who committed sodomy or other homosexual acts with life in prison” and Section 377 of the Indian penal Code continued to be law for years even after India gained back its independence in 1947 (2018). Many Indian youth are, or have been, affected by homophobic and non-liberating values enforced by law or parents, and you cannot invalidate that struggle; however, it is important to understand that a lot of specific ‘Indian values’ are rooted in white supremacy as fallout from the British Empire and Victorian England shaming Indian culture for its sexual liberalism. Even though the main argument in my piece is to unravel sex as an expectation in storytelling, it is valuable to recognise how the caricatures that inform writers about Indians’ relationship with relationships, no matter how relevant to modern youth, has an underlying history of white supremacy. Raj, his parents, and Hinduism. Although I mainly discussed the ‘strictness’ of Indian values with contexts of British Christianity, Raj from The Big Bang Theory was not raised as a Christian. His parents are Hindu and therefore, specific Hindu teachings about relationships can also frame Raj’s struggle with sexuality. According to Chakraborty and Guha Thakura, “In the life of a Hindu male, for instance, marriage is regarded as necessary, because without a wife, he cannot enter the Grihasth ashrama (the life stage of a householder). In addition, without marriage there can be no offspring, and without a son, no release from the chain of reincarnation in birth-death-rebirth. […] a husband should only approach his wife sexually during her ritu (season), a period of sixteen days within the menstrual cycle. However, intercourse is forbidden on 6 of these 16 days, the first 4 days, and the 11th and 13th” (2013). I recognise that, even though my Dad’s family were raised as Hindu, I don’t have a religion. It’s not that fair of me to make sweeping judgements on a religion when individuals may practice it according to personal interpretation. With that being said, the idea of a husband approaching their wife within their menstrual cycle is oddly comedic to me. It’s phrased in a way that makes it seem as if we’re witnessing a nature documentary about prey apprehensively making their presence known for mating during someone’s time of the month. Anyway – This specific interpretation of sexuality in Hinduism emphasizes sex in connotation to biology and ‘offspring,’ rather than pleasure and desire. Arguably, this informs the way Raj’s parents pressure him to be married as the expectation of sex is the expectation to have children. Furthermore, characterising Raj as misogynistic with a tendency to use casual sex to solve his loneliness continues to reinforce stereotypes about South Asians’ relationship with relationships. How South Asians try to engage in western society, which normalizes casual sex outside of marriage, could be seen as a direct opposition to traditional ideas of sex after marriage and arranged marriages in South Asian culture; but both contrasting cultures place pressures on the individual, such as Raj, to adhere to expectations about sex. This suggests that for Raj to break out of ‘traditional’ ideas in Indian culture, he needs to fulfil the western ideas of sexual relationships — by having them. Therefore, the continued conflict Raj has with marriage to appease his parents and sex to appease status in his friendship group reinforces the characterisation of Raj as a ‘lonely and desperate virgin’ – he must have a partner to marry and have sex with otherwise he is a ‘let-down’ to both of his friends and family for opposing reasons. Rajesh, forever single. Given the fact that there are often very few Asian characters that are main leads in Western stories to begin with, Raj is not given the same courtesy of a long-term romantic relationship as his white peers and co-workers. Of course, there is nothing wrong with having a main character that does not fit the typical arc of having a life-long relationship at the end of a story (example: Joey Tribbiani from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.), but the fact that this role is given to the only non-white lead of the program means that Raj falls short on the expectations of his family and his circle of friends. His sex life is a problem, and it needs to be solved with sex in return. It is a weird dichotomy where Raj is struggling between two opposing cultures when it comes to sex — either he is pressured by the wants and desires of his family and not adhering to orthodox ideas of sex to expand the family, or he is seen by his peer group as someone lonely, desperate, and in need of a quickie to stop moping about whilst being lonely and desperate. He is either having too much sex to fulfil his long-term goals, or not having enough sex to fulfil his ‘needs and desires’. I can imagine for many young Asians this is a type of internal conflict they may experience. We are shamed if we have sex, but we are shamed if we don’t. Sex is both the solution and the problem. Virginity as Heteronormative One of the major issues I have with the portrayal of virginity is its heteronormative connotations in western content. If you are a ‘boy virgin’, have sex with girl. If you are a ‘girl virgin’, have sex with boy (which also excludes the possibility of exploring trans and nonbinary people as leading characters in relationship arcs). Not only that, but there is a disregard for the idea that virginity is a conscious choice involving an individual’s sexuality rather than a commitment to ‘traditional’ ideas. If a character is a virgin, it is either because they are seen as undesirable or they haven’t yet met tHe OnE to have sex with. There is no option in these fictional scenarios where a character doesn’t want sex because they just don’t. ‘The Take’ states in one of their video essays that, “Through TV history, a perceived lack of interest or experience in sex generally tends to either be played as a joke or explained away; think about how the word ‘virgin’ is used as an insult. […] A hesitance around sex is often shown as laughable and shameful, especially in men” (2021). You could even argue that the latter part about men being shamed for virginity comes with its own hetero-patriarchal undertones. Even if it is not deemed acceptable for ‘men virgins’, it is more feasible to imagine ‘women virgins’ becasue of the way women’s bodies have been policed to antagonize sex outside of marriage, and their ‘virginity’ is eventually ‘solved’ by having sex with the one and only man they are exptected to marry. Although western media loves the idea of finding your one and only (I’d dry-heave but I recognise I will probably be just as disgusting when I eventually have a relationship, we all have our flaws), romantic attraction that is not inherently linked to sexual desires is rarer than schools discussing the importance of consent. When it comes to virginity, a lot of western media is not interested in exploring asexuality, demisexuality, or anything that directly addresses the nuances of the ace spectrum. If a person is ace in a piece of media, it is more likely confirmed by writers/directors off-screen than when the media goes from pre-production to post-production. Even if characters are LQBTQIA+, they are heavily characterized by the ‘sex’ in sexuality. Circling back to The Big Bang Theory, there was an opportunity for Sheldon to potentially represent individuals that are on the ace spectrum and have fulfilling lives that don’t involve sexual activity. ‘The Take’ corroborate this stating that Sheldon, “Is initially presented as someone with absolutely no interest in, or understanding of, sex […] and a strong distate for intimacy is eventually written into a more “normal” sexuality later seasons” (2021). This is followed by a clip of Sheldon in bed with the sheets covering his body and saying “well, I enjoyed that more than I thought I would” (2021). It’s almost sad to hear him say this because it implies he previously would have considered sex as unenjoyable for him, yet the writers change Sheldon’s mind with sex as the solution. On one hand, I can imagine that writers may have wanted to present Sheldon with a character arc whereby he opens himself to romantic opportunity — but again, the absence of storytelling about asexuality, demisexuality, or even something like demiromantic attraction, means that we are essentially getting a similar arc of growth that Leonard and Howard developed with their partners but repackaged into another white guy too smart for his own good. Sheldon’s relationship with Amy could have been a great opportunity that deep, meaningful and long-life connections can be made without physical affection, intimacy, or either partner feeling pressured to have sex because it’s ‘expected’. Furthermore, the show attempts to ‘solve’ Sheldon’s character by altering Amy’s character to be more sexually driven to an almost caricature level that starkly contrasts Sheldon (and not in the two opposites make harmony type of way); she becomes the one that wears Sheldon down to be romantically and sexually attracted. Sheldon’s character is ‘fixed’ with Amy’s hopes to eventually have sex with him. If Sheldon was beloved by a lot of people, wouldn’t it have been nice for a beloved character to show that the absence of sex doesn’t make your life lesser? Apparently no, they would rather make Raj needy and sex-starved. It is important for stories about LGBTQIA+ relationships to be shared and respected, but the obsession with thinking that modern youth is obsessed with sex means that anyone who is not having sex by choice is either orthodox or waiting for the one to make their life all rainbows and butterflies for doing the horizontal tango. Virginity as a general concept is not exclusively heteronormative, but Western media continues to create stories that ‘overcome virginity’ with sexually driven dynamics. Sex is used to solve heterosexual character arcs, so why bother having ace arcs if sex can’t solve their problems? Final notes: Sex is a choice, not expectation. There is already plenty of discourse about how Western media tokenizes non-white characters, but I find it interesting how there is ample opportunity for stories about character’s having fulfiling lives outside of sexuality, but media would rather use sex as a tool to weaponize, sexualize, and ridicule. Most of my piece was arguing how western media often amplifies sex in stories about adolscene and young adulthood that may be disproportionately frequent to real-life circumstances. However, I do recognise there is still this miasma of sexual frustration that often clouds over modern youth in schools, colleges, and universities — an expectation that is both spoken and unspoken with intention to weaponize and ridicule. I want to make it very clear to anyone — you are not obliged to start something or do something sexually just because other people are. Do not feel ashamed for making choices that can help your wellbeing. If you have made choices that you did not expect or plan, or were a negative consequence such as pregnancy or STDs, do not feel ashamed — find help that can actually help you. If you are still in education, it is the institution’s responsibility to make sure any student can learn and feel safe with proactive resources. If an establishment is not doing that, they are part of the problem. You are not obligated to ever have sex if that is your choice. If someone is pushing you for any form of activity, that is a breach of consent. If people are implying you should, or implicitly/explicitly shame you for being a ‘virgin at your age’, it is not anyone’s business to talk to you about your preferences as if they think they know you better than you do. They don’t. Sex positivity is about exploring desires and understanding boundaries. Sex positivity is about the choice to have sex and to not have sex. Body autonomy is about choice, not expectation. When it comes to this matter: be healthy, be safe, be unapologetic.* *unless you are someone who disregards consent in which case apologize, mean it, and take a brisk walk on lego to the consequences of your actions, you colossal douche baguette. Thank you x A/N: Two weeks into writing this new thesis, after pitching this idea May 28th (yes, I checked), I discover this video essay titled ‘The “Asexual” Asian Man – End the Undesirable Stereotype’ in my recommended whilst I made notes during another video essay from the same channel. It delights me that I have a resource directly addressing what I want to write about with the exact same case study, but it’s also funny to experience this ‘twin film’ phenomenon by accident, ‘The Take’ (highly recommend their videos) got there before me and now I look like a copycat! Regardless, I recommend also watching this video essay as a corroborative source. Editors: Bri S., Lydia L., Megan L., Simran G. Joyce P., & Sophie G. Edited 8/20 – Simran G. , Bri S., Lydia L., Sophie G. Cover image: https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/704xn/p070p26m.jpg Bibliography: “A Brief History Of Sex On TV – Photo Essays.” TIME.com. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. “Eastern Orthodoxy And Sexual Diversity.” British Council. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. “LGBT In Britain – Hate Crime And Discrimination.” Stonewall. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. “The Big Bang Theory: What Went Wrong? – Wisecrack Edition.” Youtube.com. N.p., 2018. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. “The Nice Guy Trope, Explained.” Youtube.com. N.p., 2020. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. “The Original Pilot Script Is Soo Fucking Weird I Swear Sam Levinson Needs Jail.” N.p., 2020. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. “The “Asexual” Asian Man – End The Undesirable Stereotype.” Youtube.com. N.p., 2021. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. “Why Film & TV Erased Asexuality.” Youtube.com. N.p., 2021. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. A. White, Marney. “Yerkes-Dodson Law: How It Correlates To Stress, Anxiety, Performance.” Healthline. N.p., 2020. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Bhatt, Amy. “India’s Sodomy Ban, Now Ruled Illegal, Was A British Colonial Legacy.” The Conversation. N.p., 2018. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Chakraborty, Kaustav, and RajarshiGuha Thakurata. “Article For Special Supplement Of Indian Concepts On Sexuality On Indian Mental Concepts.” Indian Journal of Psychiatry 55.6 (2013): 250. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Gruber, E. “Adolescent Sexuality And The Media: A Review Of Current Knowledge And Implications.” Western Journal of Medicine 172.3 (2000): 210-214. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Gunter, Barrie. “Sex In The Media.” Oxford Bibliographies Online Datasets (2011): n. pag. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3-hOigoxHs&t=523s [Accessed 4 August 2021]. J.D., Kennie. “”AFTER WE COLLIDED” IS ASTOUNDINGLY BAD And Not Very Sexy | BAD MOVIES & A BEAT| Kenniejd.” Youtube.com. N.p., 2020. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. J.D., Kennie. “BAD MOVIES & A BEAT.” Youtube.com. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. J.D., Kennie. “HBO’S EUPHORIA IS NOT “REAL” IT’S CREEPY | Kenniejd.” Youtube.com. N.p., 2020. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. J.D., Kennie. “NETFLIX’s “KISSING BOOTH 3″ IS BOTH TRASH AND TREASURE | BAD MOVIES & A BEAT| Kenniejd.” Youtube.com. N.p., 2021. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. J.D., Kennie. “NETFLIX’S “THE KISSING BOOTH” IS PROOF THAT WATTPAD IS DANGEROUS | BAD MOVIES & A BEAT| Kenniejd.” Youtube.com. N.p., 2019. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. J.D., Kennie. “WHAT NETFLIX’S “THE KISSING BOOTH 2” TEACHES US ABOUT CHEATING| BAD MOVIES & A BEAT| Kenniejd.” Youtube.com. N.p., 2021. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. J.D., Kennie. ““AFTER” IS EVERYTHING WRONG WITH YA FICTION | BAD MOVIES & A BEAT| Kenniejd.” Youtube.com. N.p., 2019. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Kim, Minjeong, and Angie Y. Chung. “Consuming Orientalism: Images Of Asian/American Women In Multicultural Advertising.” Qualitative Sociology 28.1 (2005): 67-91. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Lucke, Jayne. “Making Up Our Minds: Attitudes Towards Sex Are Changing.” The Conversation. N.p., 2021. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Mahajan, PriyankaThukral et al. “Indian Religious Concepts On Sexuality And Marriage.” Indian Journal of Psychiatry 55.6 (2013): 256. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Marchetti, Gina. Romance And “Yellow Peril”. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press, 1993. Print. Mercer, Catherine H et al. “Changes In Sexual Attitudes And Lifestyles In Britain Through The Life Course And Over Time: Findings From The National Surveys Of Sexual Attitudes And Lifestyles (Natsal).” The Lancet 382.9907 (2013): 1781-1794. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Mina, Le. “The Problem With Teen Dramas.” Youtube.com. N.p., 2021. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Patel, Zoya. “Token Ethnic Friends: How Pop Culture Taught Me I Was Support, Not The Lead | Zoya Patel.” The Guardian. N.p., 2018. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Peakman, Julie. “Continuities And Change In Sexual Behaviour And Attitudes Since 1750.” The Cambridge World History (2015): 84-111. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Ramusack, Barbara N., and Antoinette Burton. “Feminism, Imperialism And Race: A Dialogue Between India And Britain.” Women’s History Review 3.4 (1994): 469-481. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Semonche, John E. Censoring Sex. Lanham: Rowman & Littlefield, 2007. Print. Stern, Steven E., and Alysia D. Handel. “Sexuality and Mass Media: The Historical Context of Psychology’s Reaction to Sexuality on the Internet.” The Journal of Sex Research, vol. 38, no. 4, 2001, pp. 283–291. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/3813452. Accessed 21 Aug. 2021. Twenge, Jean M., Ryne A. Sherman, and Brooke E. Wells. “Changes In American Adults’ Sexual Behavior And Attitudes, 1972–2012.” Archives of Sexual Behavior 44.8 (2015): 2273-2285. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Watch, Human Rights. “This Alien Legacy: The Origins of ‘Sodomy’ Laws in British Colonialism.” Human Rights, Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity in The Commonwealth, edited by Corinne Lennox and Matthew Waites, University of London Press, London, 2013, pp. 83–124. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctv512st2.7. Accessed 21 Aug. 2021. Wijaya Mulya, Teguh. “Queering The Virgin/Whore Binary: The Virgin Mary, The Whore Of Babylon, And Sexual Violence.” Rape Culture, Gender Violence, and Religion (2018): 51-65. Web. 21 Aug. 2021. Wilkin, Matthew. “Sociology: Changing Attitudes Towards Sexuality – Collins L Freedomtoteach.” Collins | Freedom to Teach. N.p., 2017. Web. 21 Aug. 2021.

Dear Asian Youth, Part I: The Early Years It took a long time for me to fall in love with my name. It was beautiful in Chinese. It meant unity, and peace, and the image of a glowing moon over a serene lake. It sounded like the soft brush of flowers against your cheek in the spring, like the warm caress of evening sunset rays in summer. It rolled off my family’s tongues gracefully, like smooth honey and pearls. When I was four, my family immigrated to the United States. My parents uprooted their lives in their mother country and started from scratch in a place with a language they scraped off of nineties’ TV sitcoms. All of a sudden, my name no longer seemed beautiful. No one could pronounce it. Even with the alphabetized pinyin system to spell out how the characters were said, my name was met with a wince and awkward silence on every attendance sheet I encountered. Within a few years, I learned to react to any utterance bearing the slightest resemblance to my name—Ian, Yen, Yee, Yahan, Yai-ahn, or the worst: complete silence followed by “... last name Li?” My English was barely enough to get me through the day, and I could not communicate with many of my classmates. No matter how hard I tried, my words didn’t come out quite the same. At first, I despised the English language. It had butchered my name, which had become the soggy, moldy leaves of autumn, and the dry, dead branches of winter. It had butchered my identity, and butchered the promise of a better life, better friends, and better opportunities I was supposed to have. Because as long as my hair was not blonde or brown, my eyes not wide and blue, and my pronunciation not cunningly melodic, I would remain an outsider. Silent stares would follow me wherever I walked, and whispers would haunt me through the hallways—even if I didn’t know what they were about. I filled the empty silences with books. Determined to prove that I could fit in, I taught myself how to read chapter books, and then novels. In my remedial speech class my schools placed me in, I kept an eagle eye on the shape of my tutor’s mouth, perfecting the forms and sounds of vowels and consonants, and mastering the phonics of the language that kept me in my shackles. Eventually, my English was deduced to be proficient, and finally fluent. I managed to keep up in English classes and make a few friends. When I opened my mouth to speak, people stopped asking me where I came from. And although my hair wasn’t blonde or brown and my eyes not wide and blue, I began to sound like them. Part II: The Middle Years I despised being Chinese. I despised the way teachers would hesitate before my name in roll call, and despised the face people made at my work ethic and drive to succeed. I despised the dumplings my mother would pack for lunch, which almost always guaranteed turned heads and crinkled noses. I despised my above-average school performance, and the way my classmates watched my achievements like a soap opera, building more and more levels to the pedestal they had already unjustly thrust me upon. One day in freshman year, we were receiving our most recent math tests back. My teacher customarily announced the students who had achieved a hundred percent; and to no one’s surprise, I was a regular recipient. One day, however, I was not. The whispers were immediate, with people quietly making teasing remarks about my “fall from grace,” slipping in snarky comments on my supposed “failure” when no one was looking, and pitifully coddling me over my shortcoming. I had received a ninety-eight. I felt like I was climbing a never ending ladder—every time I was nearly at the top, one more rung was added. I was either too smart to be white, or not smart enough to be Asian—the Asian everyone wanted me to be. I couldn’t win. I yearned to shed myself of my Chinese identity, but was too cowardly to cease my efforts in my academics. And so began the ironic self-deprecation; the days spent loudly agreeing with the difficulty of exams I in truth studied for; forcing laughter at jokes diminishing Asian-Americans and the model minority; convincing myself and everyone around me I had no talents, no abilities, no work ethic—that I was lazy, a master procrastinator, and sure to fail like everyone else. To others, it was relatability and humility. To me, it was a lie I pretended I loved. I despised any show of my native culture with my family and in public. I asked my mom to stop packing me lunch. I stopped speaking in Chinese on the phone in public. And I did everything I could to minimize when my parents spoke English in front of others. I was ashamed of their accent for fear that it would label us as outsiders—the same accent I carried for years in elementary school, which I managed to finally shed with hours of immersion and practice—hours that my parents had instead chosen to dedicate to their careers and building a loving home. I knew they were just as ashamed as I was. And it broke my heart on the inside. It broke my heart every time my mother triple checked if she was pronouncing a word correctly. It broke my heart every time my father asked me to edit his emails and employee reviews—for the very colleagues he managed and led. It broke my heart every time I corrected a word my parents pronounced incorrectly, and heard them silently repeating it to themselves under their breath hours later that night. It wasn’t until I lived through the most cliché moment a minority individual can experience in this country—when a man had rudely shouted at me on the street to “go back to where I came from,” and my anger had kept me up all night—that I realized I didn’t despise being Chinese. I despised the force with which immigrants and their children are shoved aside and thrown miles behind as they attempt to assimilate into a society that encourages them to fall short from the start. Part III: The Present Years My teachers still often hesitate at my name on the roll call sheet. I still get “Ian,” “Yay-ann,” “Yahn,” or “... last name Li?” I once had a teacher who went the whole year without addressing me by my name—I was reduced to “she,” “her,” or a finger pointed at me. But instead of fuming and saying “here,” I say “here” and “here” only. Because now I know, no pronunciation by silver-tongued, cunning, melodic voices can capture the beauty my name encompasses in its native language. I still edit my father’s work emails, and occasionally correct my mother’s pronunciation. But only when she asks. And I praise them both, and speak Chinese at home as much as I can. I help my family fold dumplings. And the stares don’t bother me as much when I speak on the phone in my language that others don’t understand. I still face regular pressure at school to achieve perfection and maintain my track record of high achievements—pressure that I suspect would maybe ease if I looked different. But I choose to keep my work ethic and drive to succeed, because my parents gave up everything they had and crossed an ocean to give me a better future, and I owe everything to them. It isn’t always easy. Although my English abilities have been polished under the guidance of my school teachers, and my free time is dedicated to both Eastern and Western cultures—I have played classical piano for more than a decade, and thoroughly enjoy it; and I love watching Netflix and spending the Fourth of July with my friends—I am not always in love with both my Chinese and American side. Some days, I wake up wishing I had blonde hair and blue eyes to fit the conventional Westernized standards of beauty. Some days, I wake up wishing I was lazier and a bigger procrastinator, so more people can talk to me about gossip instead of group projects. I fall victim to the perpetuation of model minorities, and occasionally find myself openly self-deprecating for the sake of seeming “less Asian” and seeking approval from others. One day, I hope that families who choose to start a new life here can live out the full potential of the American Dream, instead of having the caveats of that dream hold their own potential hostage. I hope people can walk down the street without being told to go back to where they came from. I hope people can eat what they choose, and study what they choose, and fail and succeed where they choose, without having internalized judgements thrust upon them based on the slant of their eyes. I hope children can grow up here and not feel ashamed to share their native culture in a country that ironically prides itself on freedom and diversity. I hope the youth can grow up in a space without being shoved into a box that is wholly Asian or wholly American. And I hope the price for acceptance is not an ultimatum to choose between the two worlds. But at least for now, I have fallen back in love with my name. Through winter, spring, summer, and fall, my name remains a calming force that reunites the clashing worlds I grew up in: reconciling Chinese and American, and slowly finding a proud and comfortable space in between. - Yi-Ann Li

Dear Asian Youth, Bong Joon-Ho’s historic win in the Academy Awards in 2020 for his film, “Parasite,” was a memorable and triumphant moment for us Asians. I remember grinning from ear to ear as each of the cast and crew stood on the stage of the Dolby Theater, holding the golden statues they rightfully deserved. Being the first film to bring home both the Best International Feature and Best Picture awards last year, “Parasite” has paved the way for Asians in film for the years to come. On March 15th, 2021, the nominees for the 93rd Academy Awards were announced. I sat there in front of my laptop screen, staring at the golden font shining with names of various films. “And Yuh-Jung Youn in Minari,” announced Priyanka Chopra Jonas in her beautiful accent. The moment I heard the nominees for the first category, Actress in a Supporting Role, I knew that this was going to be another year for us Asians in film. No, not only for us. I have a feeling this could be the most diverse Oscars in the history of the Academy Awards. Of the 93 years the Academy Awards has been held, there has been an obvious streak of lacking diversity in each year’s list of nominees. For the non-acting categories, only 19 percent of the nominees have been women. And only 2.3 percent of the Best Picture nominees were directed by women. That’s 12 films in 93 years. Only one woman has ever won an Oscar for best directing, which was Kathryn Bigelow in 2010. And merely 15 Black actors have taken home the golden statue. There have been no Asian Americans nominated for Best Actor until this year. However, during the past decade, the Academy is moving closer to bridging the gap between People of Color and privileged White males. For example, more women of color have won in the Best Supporting Actress category: Jennifer Hudson, Penélope Cruz, Monique, Octavia Spencer and Lupita Nyong’o. Ang Lee, a Taiwanese director, took home a golden statue for directing “Life of Pi” in 2012, and Alejandro G. Iñárritu also won two consecutive awards for directing “Birdman” and “The Revenant”,followed by “Parasite”'s historic win in 2020. This year is the year for us Asians, People of Color and women. Nearly half of the acting nominees are POC, and there were 70 women nominated in total. This is the most diverse list of nominations in Oscar history. Let’s get to know the diverse ensemble of the 2021 Oscar nominees. Firstly, Youn Yuh-Jung was nominated for Best Supporting Actress in Minari. Steven Yeun also became the first Asian American to be nominated for Best Actor. Riz Ahmed was the first Best Actor nominee of Pakistani descent. Chloe Zhao is in the list of nominees for Best Director in “Nomadland”, and she is the first few women and first Asian woman to be nominated as well. She is also the first woman to be nominated for 4 categories in one year. Lee Isaac Chung was also one of the Best Director nominees for “Minari”. Furthermore, Chung and Zhao combined mark the first time two Asians are nominated for that category. Also, this is the first year when two women are nominated for Best Director with Emerald Fennell in “Promising Young Woman” alongside Chloe Zhao in “Nomadland.” For Best International Feature Film, Derek Tsang is nominated for the film “Better Days.” Furthermore, Mia Neal and Jamika Wilson are the first Black female nominees for best makeup and hairstyling for “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom.” And “Judas and the Black Messiah” is the first Best Picture nominee with Shaka King, Charles D. King and Ryan Cooler (an all Black producing team). Although the road should have been paved much earlier, “Parasite” had set an example for other Asian directors and filmmakers in the film industry. This year marks history for Asians and People of Color in film, and we are proud to finally be represented in the Academy Awards. However, these statistics and lists still do not resemble the diversity of the general public. It took the Academy 93 years to appropriately recognize filmmakers of color. This is merely a step the Academy and the film industry should have taken years ago. Filmmakers of color, women and those identifying as LGBTQ+ must be more frequently nominated and must take home a golden statue more often. Furthermore, not only should these films be celebrated in the Academy Awards, but they should also be recognized in the media. More opportunities should also be given to minority filmmakers to continue this streak of diversity. They finally did. And we have the right to be proud of the achievements of fellow People of Color in the film industry and the Oscars, but this tiny achievement can’t render us completely complacent. The Academy is still taking its baby steps, though that process is taking longer than expected. It is up to us to continue promoting diversity and represent the prism of society in each and every industry. I’m looking forward to streaming tears of happiness while watching the Academy Awards live on April 25th. Let’s hope this year will further pave the way for another historic win for People of Color. - Yanitta Iew Cover Photo Source: https://fortune.com/2020/02/10/parasite-farewell-academy-awards-indie-spirits-hollywood-diversity/

English Version TW: mentions of sexual assault Dear Asian Youth, It’s summer. April 13th, Songkran Day, to be precise. People swarm the narrow streets of Bangkok, from Silom to Khao San Road, bodies sizzling and melting in the weather. Water guns, hoses and buckets splash, and spray. The whole country goes enthusiastically haywire. Hands and fingers go everywhere. It’s Thai New Year’s day; people are happy and ecstatic. But if happiness blinds the crowd, how elusive can touching, groping, and sexual assault be? (Note that the previous sentence is a rhetorical question, but most of you know that answer to it, and the statistics are below.) The topic of sexual assault during the annual Songkran Festival has hardly ever been acknowledged. The festival is viewed as a joyful and euphoric one, but it is also notorious for having fingers, hands and other body parts go in wrong and unwanted places. These sordid actions are intentionally excluded from conversations not because it’s elusive, but because it goes unnoticed by the general public. During the exhaustive aftermath of the festival, women swarm the police stations. (Note that not all victims of sexual assault report their cases). The government, rooted with a deeply misogynist values, decides to see Songkran’s sexual assault cases as a crucial issue. Since they have an obligation to care about this, the government decides that they need to take action. Then, there’s an announcement. And all over the papers is the government’s stance on the horrors of Songkran Day. (Copied Verbatim) BANGKOK POST: Don’t Dress Sexy, Says Government. THE PHUKET NEWS: Don’t Dress Sexy, Says Government. THAILAND NEWS: Don’t Dress Sexy, Says Government. A myriad of Thai news outlets and studies prove that these actions occur more often than people think. They happen to more than half of the women at the festival, but they are ignorantly disregarded. A study shows that sixty percent of women who responded to a survey said that they were sexually harassed and assaulted during the Songkran Festival. And when an infinitesimal amount these cases are reported, authorities point their accusative fingers at the victim and use their fashion choices to justify their trauma. The sexist problem-solving and conclusions don’t end here. Previously, the Thai government decided that banning “sexy dance moves,” “sexy pants” and “sexy muscles” would dramatically eradicate the existence of all sex crimes. And instead of arresting and fining those who commit sex crimes, people, mainly women, will be fined and arrested for publicizing their “sexy” dance moves and clothing. Victim-blaming also exists outside the Songkran Festival. It is a recurring theme in sexual harassment conversations in several ASEAN (Association of Southeast Asian nation) countries. And a journalist for a renowned news outlet from Bangkok, The Nation, stated in an opinion article that, no sex crime case has ever gone to court, and legally, “sexual harassment doesn’t exist in Thailand.” Furthermore, the journalist also advised Thai women to either tolerate the unwanted sexual actions or quit their jobs if a coworker or boss sexually harasses them. But the Thai government has underestimated the potential of women by believing that the release of poorly PR-ed headlines and lackluster problem-solving can silence half of the Thai population. And the current of these sexist and victim-blaming notions prompted the genesis of a nationwide campaign titled: #DontTellMeHowToDress. The bombardment of these sexist claims and advice marks a dead end for victims of sexual assault in Thailand. However, with the establishment of the resonating campaign, #DontTellMeHowToDress, women have been more confrontational and confident to speak up and fight against the patriarchal society and system. Cindy Sirinya Bishop, a Thai-American model and founder of the campaign, told UN Women that, “It just struck a chord in me. When I saw this warning, I was so angry that women were warned to dress appropriately, but men were not being told to behave.” She then posted a video stating that women should be allowed to dress however they want, and that sexual assault and harassment is never the woman’s fault. In a flash, the video went viral and the campaign was established. Bishop went further and turned it into an exhibition inspired by the “What Were You Wearing?” exhibition previously displayed in the University of Kansas. Bishop’s exhibition showed the clothes women were wearing when they were sexually assaulted. The clothes displayed in the exhibition include baggy T-shirts, tank tops, ankle-length pants, polo-neck shirts, knee-length shorts, uniforms and so on. If clothes deemed “sexy” are those that women get sexually assaulted in, aren’t all clothes “sexy”? Not only depicted in this exhibition, but also depicted everywhere, people can be sexually assaulted in any type of clothing. And if a visual representation of this isn’t enough, I am going to say it right here. Loud and clear. Getting sexually assaulted is not the victim or their fashion choice’s fault. It is the assaulter’s. To quote Cindy Sirinya Bishop, “Our culture is not one that is so confrontational, and it’s going to be a while until a woman comes out and names names or points a finger in the media. But over the last few months, I’ve seen women in Thailand begin to collectively speak out, sharing their stories and pushing back on this victim-blaming which previously has gone completely unchecked here.” The #DontTellMeHowToDress campaign has been an inspiration for women all around Thailand and Southeast Asia, and it has brought light to issues surrounding women’s rights, sexual assault and the internalized misogyny in the patriarchal society. These issues have not been mentioned enough in Thailand, and there is a deficiency in educational resources. But as awareness is spread by women around the country, this progressiveness also needs to be embedded in the government’s values and societal norms. - Yanitta Iew Thai Translation #DontTellMeHowToDress: ปืนฉีดน้ำ การจับ และ รัฐบาล คำเตือน: บทความนี้มีการพาดพิงถึงการล่วงละเมิดทางเพศ ช่วงฤดูร้อนในวันที่ 13 เมษายน ผู้คนชุมนุมกันบนถนนแออัดๆของเมืองกรุงเทพมากมาย ตั้งแต่ถนนสีลมไปยังถนนข้าวสาร เนื้อตัวเสียดสีกันและละลายในอากาศ ปืนฉีดน้ำ สายยาง และกาลามัง สาดน้ำกันทั่วเมือง ทั้งประเทศวุ่นวายแต่สนุกสนาน มือและนิ้วมือไปทั่วทุกที่ นี่คือวันปีใหม่ไทยที่ทุกคนรู้จัก ทุกคนมีความสุขและตื่นเต้น แต่ถ้าความสุขทำให้คนตาบอดไม่สามารถมองเห็นความจริงได้ และถนนแออัดขนาดนั้น การล่วงละเมิดทางเพศจะหายากยนาดไหนกัน? (รู้ไว้ว่าคำถามข้างต้นไม่จำเป็นต้องการคำตอบจากผู้อ่าน แต่หลายคนคงจะรู้และพูดในใจว่าคุณรู้คำตอบ สถิติอยู่ด้านล่าง) ในช่วงหลังสงกรานต์ ผู้หญิงทั้งหลายไปรุมสถานีตำรวจ (รู้ไว้ว่าเหยื่อของการล่วงละเมิดทางเพศ น้อยคนที่จะไปแจ้งตำรวจ) และรัฐบาลจึงตัดสินว่าการล่วงละเมิดทางเพศในช่วงสงกรานต์คือสิ่งที่สำคัญและร้ายแรงอย่างยิ่ง เนื่องจากรัฐบาลมีความจำเป็นจะต้องประพฤติเหมือนเขาเห็นและเอาใจใส่กับเหตุการณ์พวกนี้ เขาจึงเลือกที่จะพูดออกมาและให้ความคิดเห็นเกี่ยวกับสถานการณ์ หลังจากนั้น มีการประกาศเกิดขึ้น และหนังสือพิมพ์ทั่วประเทศได้ตีพิมพ์ความคิดเห็นของรัฐบาล ดังนี้ “รัฐบาลได้ประกาศว่า อย่าแต่งตัวเซกซี่” BANGKOK POST: Don’t Dress Sexy, Says Government. THE PHUKET NEWS: Don’t Dress Sexy, Says Government. THAILAND NEWS: Don’t Dress Sexy, Says Government. นอกจากนี้การล่วงละเมิดทางเพศในช่วงสงกรานต์ถูกเมินไปบ่อยมาก และแทบจะไม่เคยถูกพูดถึง เทศกาลสงกรานต์มักจะถูกมองด้วยสายตาที่วัยเยาว์และสดใจ จึงละทิ้งสิ่งไม่ดีออกไปจากภาพลักษณ์ของเทศกาลนี้ นอกจากความสดใสและเฮฮาของสงกรานต์ เทศกาลนี้ได้ถูกประนามไว้ว่าเป็นช่วงที่มีมือ นิ้วมือ และอวัยวะต่างๆซ่อนเร้นลงไปในที่ๆไม่ควร สิ่งแย่ๆเหล่านี้ถูกละทิ้งจากการสนทนาไม่ใช่เพราะมันไม่เกิดขึ้น แต่เพราะไม่มีใครให้ความสนใจ ไม่มีที่ไหนบนอินเทอร์เน็ตหรือสัญชาตญาณมนุษย์กล่าวไว้ว่าการล่วงละเมิดทางเพศเป็นสิ่งที่ไม่เกิดขึ้น การล่วงละเมิดทางเพศเกิดขึ้นกับผู้หญิงส่วนมากในช่วงเทศกาลสงกรานต์ ร้อยละ 60 ของผู้หญิงด้วยซ้ำ และในเมื่อส่วนน้อยของผู้หญิงที่ถูกล่วงละเมิดไปแจ้งความ ผู้อาวุโสและผู้คนโดยรวมมักจะวางโทษไว้ที่เหยื่อ ด้วยเหตุผลที่ว่าเหยื่อได้แต่งตัวโป๊หรือเซ็กซี่ การแก้ปัญหาด้วยความคิดที่เหยียดเพศไม่ได้เริ่มและจบตรงนี้ ก่อนหน้านี้ รัฐบาลไทยได้สั่งห้าม “การเต้นท่าเซกซี่” “กางเกงเซ็กซี่” และ “กล้ามที่เซ็กซี่” เพราะว่าเขาคิดกันว่าการสั่งห้ามจะทำให้การล่วงละเมิดทางเพศเกิดขึ้นน้อยลง และแทนที่จะจับกุมหรือโทษคนที่ล่วงละเมิดคนอื่น เหยื่อมันจะถูกปรับหรือจับกุมแทน นอกจากนี้รัฐบาลก็ได้แต่งตั้งแคมเปญที่รณรงค์ให้ผู้หญิงแต่งตัวสุภาพมากขึ้น การโทษเหยื่อก็เกิดขึ้นในชีวิตประจำวัน และมักจะถูกกล่าวถึงในการสนทนาเรื่องการล่วงละเมิดทางเพศในประเทศอาเซียน นักข่าวของหนังสือพิมพ์ชื่อดัง เนชั่น ท่านหนึ่งได้กล่าวว่า คดีล่วงละเมิดทางเพศทุกคดีไม่เคยถึงศาล และ “ไม่เคยพบ” การล่วงละเมิดทางเพศในเชิงกฎหมาย นอกจากนี้นักข่าวท่านนั้นได้แนะนำให้ผู้หญิงไทยอดทนกับการถูกล่วงละเมิดทางเพศหรือลาออกจากงานถ้าผู้ร่วมงานหรือเจ้านายได้กระทำสิ่งนี้ รัฐบาลไทยได้ดูถูกดูแคลนความสามารถของผู้หญิงไทยโดยการเชื่อว่าการเผยแพร่ข่าวที่ไร้สาระ พร้อมกับใช้การแก้ปัญหาที่น่าผิดหวัง จะสามารถปิดปากของผู้หญิงทั้งประเทศ และกระแสของความคิดเหยียดเพศพวกนี้ได้ปลุกใจให้แคมเปญ #DontTellMeHowToDress ถูกตั้งขึ้น ข้อความและแนวคิดเชิงเหยียดเพศทำให้เหยื่อของการถูกล่วงละเมิดทางเพศรู้วึกเหมือนถูกขังอยู่ในเขาวงกฎที่มีแต่ทางตัน แต่ว่าหลังจากเเคมเปญ #DontTellMeHowToDress ได้ถูกตั้งขึ้น ผู้หญิงเริ่มจะกล้าพูดกล้าแสดงออกมากขึ้น และรวมตัวกันโค่นล้มสังคมปิตา ซินดี้ สิรินยา บิชอพ นางแบบลูกครึ่งอเมริกัน-ไทยคนหนึ่งและผู้ก่อตั้งแคมเปญ ได้บอก UN Women ว่า “ปัญหานี้ได้ทำให้รู้สึกโกรธ และรู้สึกว่าผู้หญิงไม่ควรเป็นเพศที่จะต้องทำตามคำสั่งของผู้ชาย และผู้ชายควรจะรับผิดชอบบ้าง” หลังจากนั้น เขาได้โพสวีดีโอเกี่ยวกับปัญหานี้ลงไปในโซเชียลมีเดีย วีดีโอนี้ไปได้ทั่วถึงคนทั่วประเทศในช่วงเวลาพริบตา และแคมเปญ #DontTellMeHowToDress ได้เกิดขึ้น ซินดี้ สิรินยาได้พัฒนาโครงการไปเป็นนิทรรศการที่ได้ไอเดียมาจาก “What Were You Wearing?” ของ University of Kansas ในนิทรรศการนี้ได้จัดโชว์ชุดที่ผู้หญิงหลายๆคนได้ใส่อยู่ระหว่างการถูกล่วงละเมิดทางเพศ และเสื้อผ้าต่อไปนี้ประกอบไปด้วย เสื้อทีเชิร์ตหลวมๆ เสื้อกล้าม กางเกงยาวห้าส่วน เสื้อคอโปโล กางเกงขาสั้นยาวถึงเข่า ชุดนักเรียน และอื่นๆ ถ้าเสื้อผ้าเซกซี่คือเสื้อผ้าที่ทำให้ผู้หญิงเป็นเหยื่อการล่วงละเมิดทางเพศ อย่างนี้เสื้อผ้าทุกอย่างก็ถูกจัดว่าเป็นเสื้อผ้าเซกซี่ ผู้หญิงสามารถถูกล่วงละเมิดทางเพศได้เมื่อไหร่ก็ได้ ระหว่างใส่เสื้อผ้าแบบไหนก็ได้ และถ้าสิ่งนี้ยังไม่ชัดเจนพอสำหรับคุณผู้อ่าน ฉันจะพูดออกมาตรงๆ การถูกล่วงละเมิดทางเพศไม่ใช่ความผิดของเหยื่อหรือเสื้อผ้าที่เขาเลือที่จะใส่ มันคือความผิดของผู้ข่มขืน ตามที่ซินดี้ สิรินยาได้กล่าวไว้: “วัฒนธรรมของเราไม่ใช่วัฒนธรรมที่มักจะเผชิญหน้าและป่าวประกาศออกมาว่าตัวเองโดนข่มขืน และจะต้องใช้เวลาสักพักหนึ่งก่อนที่ผู้หญิงคนหนึ่งจะออกมาชี้หน้าผู้กระทำผิด แต่ในช่วงไม่กี่เดือนที่ผ่านมา ดิฉันได้สังเกตว่าผู้หญิงไทยกล้าพูดกล้าแสดงออกมากขึ้น และต่อต้านความคิดที่เหยียดเพศไปด้วยกัน” แคมเปญ #DontTellMeHowToDress เป็นแรงบันดาลใจให้ผู้หญิงทั่วประเทศไทยและเอเซียตะวันออกเฉียงใต้ และได้กระจายความรู้เกี่ยวกับปัญหาในสังคมที่เกี่ยวกับสิธิสตรี การล่วงละเมิดทางเพศ พฤติกรรมมุ่งร้ายต่อผู้หญิงที่คนในสังคมไม่รู้ตัว ในสังคมปิตา เรื่องราวและปัญหาพวกนี้แทบไม่ได้ถูกกล่าวถึงในบทสนทนาทั่วไปเลย และประเทศไทยได้ให้ความรู้ไม่เพียงพอในเรื่องการเหยียดเพศ และการล่วงละเมิดทางเพศ ให้กับนักเรียนในทุกเพศทุกวัย ถึงแม้ผู้หญิงทั่วประเทศได้ร่วมมือกันให้ความรู้เกี่ยวกับปัญหาพวกนี้ แต่ความก้าวหน้าในทางสตรีนิยมก็จะต้องถูกฝังไว้ในความเชื่อของรัฐบาล สังคมและประชาชนไทยเช่นกัน Cover Photo Source: @donttellmehowtodress on Twitter

Perhaps I will always remember what came before: that endless summer’s day when she wove her hair with jasmine, sweet, and searched for me. And perhaps I will never stop loving her, the recollection of the way she used to be. I hope she won’t mind if I hold onto her memory, while she travels to distant lands and forgets my name. I walk alone on that path, where she sunk her hands in soft mud and called my name. Where she promised with a kiss on my nose, her nose, that she would love any part of me that I could give. Now I leave her footprints in the earth below. She is my reflection; I was never hers. I call out to the wind and hope that she will hear me: “Send me a letter, my love. Or better yet, come back to me. I kept your hands, your pens, your paper. The sun and I are waiting for you in Jhargram.” Cover Photo Source: VideoHive

Dear Asian Youth, More specifically, dear Asian high school seniors. As more and more college admissions roll out and the passing of Ivy Day, know that you are not alone. Even if you got accepted into your dream school, watching other “more qualified” people get rejected can give you a sense of Impostor Syndrome. On the contrary, getting rejected can make you feel as if you sacrificed all your time, energy, and mental health for nothing. Either way, it’s so frustrating. The conflicting feelings of knowing that getting rid of problematic standardized testing, due to its racial and class inequities, is great progress, but it also made the competition this year riveting. Either way, I am so proud of you. No one acknowledges how tough it is to be a senior this year. Class of 2020 received so much sympathy for missing three months. This year, teachers are still expecting full effort. CollegeBoard is still expecting full effort. All while we are barely trying to hold it together, after being in a pandemic for over a year with no clear end. Not only are we struggling to keep things afloat academically, but we have to deal with our crumbling mental health. Burnout from school and burnout from being alive because it’s frustrating watching and knowing how messed up the system is. The system--governments, colleges, anything and everything; it all boils down to politics. Knowing that post college we are not guaranteed a job. Knowing that we are about to enter such a crucial stage, our childhood far gone. Knowing that epidemiologists have been warning us of this for years. Knowing that people still don’t believe in science and the virus. Knowing climate change is very real, watching our world go up in flames or snow storms or hurricanes. Watching universities worsen students’ mental health by replacing spring break with “Wellness Days,” all while taking thousands of full tuition dollars for online classes and refusing to acknowledge actual racism on campus. Watching the government fail to protect us because they simply do not care. Watching more and more people die at the hands of the police. Watching more and more people get hurt for protesting police brutality, all while white supremacists storm the capital unharmed. Watching the rise in Asian hate crimes. Watching more mass shootings happen. Watching our peers not care that any of this is happening. Watching ourselves become desensitized. The most frustrating aspect is knowing that we essentially cannot do anything. Knowing that all the infographics and petitions will not change the system. While it does contribute to spreading awareness and educating more people to attain the power to fix the system, it is such a painstakingly slow process. This can all be so discouraging. Being an activist is great, but how do we deal with burnout? When will we get the time to heal from this? I wish I could end this on a super positive and encouraging pep talk. However, the truth hurts, and I do not know the answers myself. I am not sure if anyone does. Perhaps this is the worst part: knowing that all we can do is accept these feelings and try to heal from them. Again, I am so proud of you. Truly. I know it is easier said than done, but please do not be so hard on yourself. It is not your fault, but is just the hand that we have been dealt. Please reach out if you want to talk about anything at all. -a very tired Tia Nguyen Cover Photo Source: https://www.luc.edu/features/stories/artsandculture/burnoutart/

Dear Asian Youth, While social media can be a great asset to social progress, as demonstrated by a certain organization you are reading this from, it can also take us back quite a few steps. This is attributed to algorithms, group polarization, and confirmation bias. Even if we think we are on the “right” (but left) side of the internet, questionable rhetoric for social change still exists in the name of activism. One of the most prominent examples I have seen of this is the “girls support girls,” white, Liberal feminism. It’s always girlboss CEOs, women war criminals. She got a seat at the table! But why is the table not bigger? Why does the table exist in the first place? Girl boss-feminism (girl-bos-sis-m) is an extremely harmful movement to the young, impressionable members of our society who tend to follow ideologies blindly without their own critical thinking. The main critique of girlbossism is that this “positivity” fails to deconstruct and disassemble the white-centered patriarchal structures ingrained into society but instead perpetuate them. For instance, sex positivity is one of the biggest focuses. We need to end the outdated practices of slut shaming, stigmitizing sex for women, and criminalizing sex workers; however, the amount of girls being groomed by the internet into creating OnlyFans accounts as soon as they reach the legal age is a cause for concern. Even more concerning is the men buying this content. Rapper and influencer Danielle Bregoli, most commonly known by her stage name Bhad Bhabie, made an OnlyFans just two weeks after her eighteenth birthday and made $1,030,703.43 in six hours. Why are men so eager to consume pedophiliac content? Beauty standards for women and how we are portrayed in the media are directly correlated to pedophilia. Women are expected to be hairless, wrinkle free, petite, etc.--like children. By encouraging this “sex positivity” without demolishing the patriarchy, the notion of girl-boss feminism contintues to harm women. Girlbossism does not seek liberation and is instead the reactionary byproduct of existing patriarchal values. It centers around male opinions. Women are considered promiscuous and airheads, so we will be bimbos for our enjoyment! Women are drama filled and hate each other, so it’s girls support girls! Women are expected to look a certain way, so it’s pretty b**ches do this, and we are all hot! A quick glance and these statements seem fine and encouraging. On the surface, they aren’t inherently bad. However, it does not take into consideration that men do not care that you do it in the name of feminism, it still plays into the male gaze and fantasy of women being promiscuous, dumb, sexual objects. There’s nothing wrong with being a bimbo; it just isn’t liberating. It fails to consider why the patriarchy perpetuates this stereotype or seeks to eradicate the dehumanization of women. Additionally, supporting girls tends to be an excuse for critiquing other women. For example, white Liberals tend to praise Vice President Kamala Harris. It is great progress that a woman of color made it into the position, but V.P. Harris has a history of being “Top Cop” in a justice system built to oppress people of color. Quite frankly, not all women can be trusted. Many of the women who consider themselves allies date racist, homophobic, transphobic, and misogynistic men, priding themselves on being able to change them or even have racist girl friends. Women of color cannot just switch off being a woman of color when they want to, but white feminists cherry pick when to be an “ally,” often regarding their own self image over human rights. Because the patriarchy is still intact, there are unfortunately a lot of women with internalized misogyny. In fact, many sex traffickers are women, deliberately sent out to prey on other women. Women are trying to trust and help out each other, only for some to prioritize male profit, especially considering Black women are the most targeted victims of sex trafficking. Lastly, it turns beauty into a competition that women of color cannot ever win. Who do we see at the faces of activism? Conventionally attractive white women. They do not acknowledge their pretty privilege which is fueled by Eurocentric beauty standards, which is inherently rooted in white supremacy. Women’s self worth from a beauty standpoint is derived from how desirable they are to men. Thus, whatever beauty standard is trending feeds back into the male gaze. As women try to mimic and follow beauty trends instead of accepting themselves, the standard for men still remains low while they profit off our insecurities. When white women start to “decide” that ethnic features are beautiful, they disregard the years of trauma and struggle with self acceptance that women of color face. It doesn’t create more diversity in the media, but it is even weaponized against women of color who get accused of trying to look too hard like “Kylie Jenner,” who bought her big lips, thick brows, and curvaceous features. Girlbossism does not care that men will consistently pick white women over women of color because it does not include us. In fact, this overemphasis of specific ethnic features breeds fetishization that harm women of color rather than bringing self love. Overall, girlbossism ignores that there should not be such a large emphasis on physical beauty regardless because only men and corporations benefit from it. As a result, it only pits women against each other, rather than focusing on the real sources of the issue. It’s easy to blindly agree with “progressive ideology,” but it is just as easy to miss the entire point of feminism and dismantling the patriarchy. Best put by TikTok influencer Serena Shahidi, or glamdemon2004, girlbossism was “never about liberating or protecting women, it’s always about their egos.” - Tia Nguyen Cover Photo Source: Refinery29

||| three fingers we belong to a country with fingers as prison bars every word thrown in the swamp tongues buried in a grave ammunition cremated you call us traitors cut our hair; shatter our mirrors leave us stranded with a slap on the wrist three fingers still upright atrophy from the white ribbon they don’t have ears but long to have another mouth "love your country, kid." the clock’s three fingers have only turned once how do you know what’s good when you have never seen it? give me your hand so i can slap it children unaware of what freedom smells like born and raised by khaki troops swearing loyalty like singing karaoke holding up three fingers to remind us of what we don’t have king buries bullets down throats orders assassinations from an unlimited buffet menu throws away women like shots fired two fingers to clutch, one for the trigger fifteen fingers behind bars we want to belong to a country with protests found only in history books three fingers used only for writing a voice doesn’t cost a future — Three fingers, held up high in the sky. The purpose of this piece is to spread awareness about the pro-democracy protests in Thailand which boomed last year, but have lasted for decades. The protestors used the three-fingered gesture to represent freedom of speech, expression and non-violence. There have not been many instances in which Thailand’s youth can explicitly articulate our anger because speaking up could cost us our lives. Currently, the youth who have spoken are arrested, abducted or missing. Thais have continuously depicted a contradicting image for the three-fingered gesture. It can be used to swear loyalty to the monarchy, to fire a gun, to slap one’s wrists, to imprison one’s opinions, to remind the youth of their age and incapability…and the most contradictory one yet: representing freedom. - Yanitta Iew Cover Photo Source: Al Jazeera

“I think I can make it through today,” he whispers, “if I move slowly.” As if he is wading into a lake, hoping that the depths will not consume him, even when it feels like he’s freezing. “Yes, I can make it through today,” he thinks, “if I am quiet—” if he pretends that the wooden floor is rice paper, soft and delicate. He must be careful about where he puts his weight. He must hold himself up, up, resist the shaking of his own legs. A quivering forest. “I can make it through if I am unseen.” So he leaves the bedroom light off, in case it feels too bright against his skin. In case anyone tries to observe him. (It is easier to be briefly unnoticed today. To rest his wary body, uninterrupted, for now.) “I can make it through” because he has travelled here before; he never quite understands how this place came to be, only that it is lonely and shifting before his very eyes. Always shifting, beyond the staggering trees. And he can make it through if he puts one foot in front of the other, accepts how they plunge into the wet earth. Inhale and exhale. And wander some more. Editors: Evie F, Sam L, Sandhya G, Siyean P Cover photo/art source: https://get.wallhere.com/photo/nature-landscape-forest-trees-mist-sun-rays-leaves-dappled-sunlight-plants-morning-branch-1495537.jpg